II. Chinese and British Marriage Cultures

2.1 Marriage Culture in Ancient China

   So as to get more better fame, so did the family got bigger, marriage became a family business rather than privacy. In Chinese traditional marriage, the most important step is to see the girl (Anthony 224).

In ancient China, marriage custom covered six steps. They are proposing (提亲), asking the name (问名), asking for future (问卜), sending betrothal to the girl’s family (下聘), discussing the date of marriage and the meeting of bride (请期). They are traditional formal marriage rituals in ancient China (迎亲).

   Proposing is the first step to marry a girl. It is also the first time to connect with each other for the two families in most cases. So, this step is very important to them. If the boy’s parents thought the girl was good to become their daughter-in-law, they would send a matchmaker, who would bring some gifts to the girl’s family, to bring up the proposal of the marriage. And if the girl’s family agreed, they would give the matchmaker some presents to take to the boy’s family for return. Of course, before the proposing, the boy’s family had sent the matchmaker to seek for opinions for the girl’s family and got the girl’s parents’ initial approval.

Asking the Name means asking the girl’s name. In ancient times, the girl’s family did not let others know the girl’s name until it was time to discuss the girl’s marriage with the boy’s family. It was not just means getting a name, the boy’s family also need to write their daughter’s date of birth and the eight characters of her horoscope on paper, which was used to pine for the boy’s family. This kind of paper was called post, which was made of straw. If the girl’s father, grandfather or grand-grandfather was once an officer in royal or imperial court or the girl’s family had a dowry to provide, they would write them down on the post. And then, the boy’s family would make a choice according to it.